It was an innocent enough idea. Make a small book of poetry at home and put it on my website at an affordable price. Poetry is hard to sell. Very hard. I learned that when I edited a journal, Romantics Quarterly, some years ago. People were reluctant to subscribe to a print journal, no matter how lovely, when there was an endless array of poetry zines online--all for free. I enjoy the internet as much as anyone, but also enjoy the pleasures of reading a book I hold in my hands. So why not create a beautiful little book--no more than 40 pages--which might tempt a few away from the computer screen.
I researched book making---yes, I admit--online--and it seemed an easy enough project. Chapbooks, small books usually 40 pages or less, have long been a refuge for poets and fictions writers. Having designed many issues of Romantics Quarterly as well as my own full length book of St. John of the Cross, I felt it would be simple. Ha!
I first decided what the look of my booklet was going to be, and proceeded to carefully format and arrange poems. This all takes time. A lot of time! But I was in familiar territory and felt confident.
My first hint of the troubles ahead came when I found that my professional design program, InDesign, could not print out booklets in the correct order. In a small 48 page book like mine, there are 12 folded pages that nest one into the other. So on the first paper you might have page 1 on the right side, and page 48 on the back. So, I had to first make a dummy, then copy all my carefully crafted pages and paste them into a new document. And yes, I lost formatting and borders along the way and had much to do over.
I definitely thought about giving up and quickly calculated how much easier it would be to send it off to a printer. But I though I'd at least try to see it through.
I also had numerous trips to office supply and art stores to see what my available options would be. I finally found an elegant ivory paper, 25% cotton, but had a number of trial printings before I could settle on the entire look. Then there was the question of binding--sewn binding was intriguing, but I was leaning toward staples. But I thought I'd try both. That meant more research and more trips to a craft store.
I gave sewn binding a try and was very surprised how much I liked it. It takes time, though, and my dreams of a smoothly operating at home production had all but vanished.
Still, I persevered. But my printing problems were exhausting. My printer is slow, and since there are decorative borders on every page, slower still. Then I found that although I could print one side of 12 pages at a go, I would always have trouble with the other side, and ended up feeding the pages one by one. And even with the utmost care, there was still the random mis- alignment or even smudge.
It had become clear that this was not a practical book. What it cost (and would Cost) me in time was above and beyond reason.
It seemed I had embarked upon a ridiculous path--and wasted valuable time. Still, I had a vision of something lovely, something that I could share. And yesterday, when I sewed the first complete prototype, I knew that it had been worth the trouble. I can't say that it is the most beautiful book ever, but it came to life beyond what I had imagined. It's not much to show for countless hours and aggravation, but it is a dream. I began to think of the idea, Time Is Money, and to see all the ways in which that was wrong. If we look at anything we do out of love, calculating hourly wage would kill it in a moment. It's not about money, but about seeing an idea from beginning to end--the end being to share something with the world. I'm not sure what I'll end up charging for my book, but it will not be too much. Right now I'm just printing and holding that thought.